Dynamite with a laser beam...Guaranteed to blow your mind...Anytime.

Today I got an e-mail that cracked me up. Here it is in full:

My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed
to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks.

As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told
us that “Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the
big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays
up, that would be super.”

On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed and rather
Arabic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. “Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines, but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground.”

She calmly turned her head and said, “In my country, I am called a Princess,
and I take orders from no one.”

To which (I swear) the flight attendant replied without missing a beat,

“Well, sweet cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray up, bitch.”

8,401

That's how many days I have been alive. Which also breaks down to 1,200 weeks or 276 months. And roughly 201,624 hours or 12,097,440 minutes or 725,846,400 seconds as of midnight.

Today's my 23 birthday.

I feel as if this is the year. This is the year things are going to happen. Don't ask me why. Or how I know. I don't know. I just feel it.

I am not going to lie and say I have the world figured out. I don't. And if someone tells you they do, they're lying. I do, however, have myself figured out. For the most part. Sometimes I still do and say things I don't understand. But I know who I am and what I want and where I'm going, which is an amazing feeling.

I plan to chronicle my 23rd year of life with this blog. This year I will be in grad school, working toward a license to teach high school journalism and a master's in secondary education. I will be observing classrooms and student teaching. This year is going to have its ups and downs. But it is going to be a good year. Good things are going to happen.

After all, this is the year. I can feel it.